What the FUCK was I thinking last night?
Mar. 18th, 2010 01:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
In a drunken haze I wordlessly and gently embraced my ex at the bar last night.
I don't know why I did it. But I did it, and there's no taking that back.
We held each other in our arms for quite a while, and it almost felt like forever.
That old feeling came back, that way how we used to physically sync up like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
It felt good, and felt right, and felt loving and natural.
And I hate that.
I really, really hate that.
...
Afterwards I freaked out for a few minutes. Luckily, no one noticed, and my fiancee and a new friend was there to support me. Thank god. I could've done much, much worse.
And I think she might've let me.
I hate that too.
I don't know why I did it. But I did it, and there's no taking that back.
We held each other in our arms for quite a while, and it almost felt like forever.
That old feeling came back, that way how we used to physically sync up like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
It felt good, and felt right, and felt loving and natural.
And I hate that.
I really, really hate that.
...
Afterwards I freaked out for a few minutes. Luckily, no one noticed, and my fiancee and a new friend was there to support me. Thank god. I could've done much, much worse.
And I think she might've let me.
I hate that too.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-18 05:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-18 06:17 pm (UTC)amee might be around. she visits about once or twice a month for a few days at a clip.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-18 06:43 pm (UTC)*big hugs*
no subject
Date: 2010-03-23 05:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-18 06:29 pm (UTC)Let it pass.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-19 12:45 pm (UTC)Then again, I'm in a weird mood lately. Prolly best to ignore me. ;)
no subject
Date: 2010-03-19 02:21 pm (UTC)