krowface | What the FUCK was I thinking last night?

In a drunken haze I wordlessly and gently embraced my ex at the bar last night.

I don't know why I did it. But I did it, and there's no taking that back.

We held each other in our arms for quite a while, and it almost felt like forever.

That old feeling came back, that way how we used to physically sync up like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

It felt good, and felt right, and felt loving and natural.

And I hate that.

I really, really hate that.

...

Afterwards I freaked out for a few minutes. Luckily, no one noticed, and my fiancee and a new friend was there to support me. Thank god. I could've done much, much worse.

And I think she might've let me.

I hate that too.