Writer's Block: Dear LiveJournal
Mar. 7th, 2011 12:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I started Eljay at the beginning of 2002. Internet years are like dog years. So I've been around for a whole life time.
Major life changes....
1. When I first started out LJ, I was dating a woman who's favourite hobby was writing Happy Potter ChanSlash. I think she still does it. I'm not sure. But in the end she ended up getting involved with an equally worthless social retard I used to be friends with. Guess they decided if they're going to be losers, they can at least do it together.
2. In the years I spent on LJ here, I have lived in Evanston WY (for reference please check out one of my favourite movies "SLC PUNK"), Newark NJ, NOLA (pre and post Katrina), Washington DC, Atlanta GA, Dallas TX, Tombstone AZ, NYC... (okay, let's be honest, I would live just outside of these areas, but would it make sense to you if I told you I lived in "Waxahachie TX"? No. So shut up.)
3. I got engaged and married to a wonderful and beautiful woman who I'm still lucky to call a friend, even if we can't be together. Then I got engaged to a woman who... well let's just say I figured shit out before things got too permanent.
4. I've been intimately involved with a few women for some serious lengths of time, and some women for a very short length of time, and I don't regret a single moment of any of it. (Except for a few times I probably beat a dead whore for too long. Wait, I meant "horse". My bad.) And LJ got to see every painful moment. LJ probably still laughs at me about it. I laugh about it as well. Most of my exes have LJs, weirdly enough. And most of them are dotcomrades with each other. Think about that for a second. What sort of sick bitch friends their ex's exes? Well... what sort of sick bitch takes the ice cube trays?
5. LJ documented my travels as I drove across the country over and over again in a burning desire to be an artist. I drove enough to circumnavigate the world twice over. I destroyed a few cars doing it. I'm not sure when I tell people "I toured the country for 10 years" that they really get it. Sometimes I want to grab them by the face and go "10 YEARS. 10 GODDAMNED YEARS." Then again, it hasn't really been ten years, has it? Whatever, I like rounding shit up.
Also, I still don't know what it's like to be an artist. I think the whole thing is some sort of scam.
6. While I have had my fair share of interactions with some serious assholes, I have also been blessed with the fact that I have met some wonderful, wonderful people. Some of them I'm lucky to still have in my life. Some of them are waiting on the other side for me. Some of them aren't as grand as I thought. But I always cherish the good times, even if I seem to dwell on the bad shit.
7. I have saved a few lives, I have not taken a single one. And on all that's holy, I swear on all that's holy, I have been saved myself.
8. I have held a quite a few jobs, I have drastically changed career goals, and I've been unemployed a few times. No matter how bad your job sucks, being without is worse. Don't believe me? Try it.
9. I learned to love karaoke. Which is funny because I fucking hated it.
10. I have become a better artist, a better writer, a better person, a better lover. I have grown and matured in ways that some people will never understand. I have developed a genius that I swear will never be fully appreciated until I die. I'm strangely okay with that.
If you ever find yourself being compared to Ernest Hemingway, Hunter S Thompson, Jack Kerouac, and Henry Rollins... well, you're probably doing something awesome. Even if you're not very commercially viable.
11. I lived like a goddamned rock star for a few years. And while I think it might've done some serious damage to my health and psyche, I would never trade it for a moment. Yeah, I might've spent a few months subsisting off of cocaine and peanuts, I also got to bang three girls at once. Okay... I'm exaggerating, but I can roll with the best and keep them entertained. And life is about LIVING. So... whatever. If God is made in our image, he's going to high five me when I walk through those gates. And honestly, those gates have a weak lock, so tackle the guards and just run for it. Fate favours the bold, right?
12. I've released over 10 books. None of them sold. But I fucking released them. That's what counts.
13. Fuck... I could go on for hours, but why talk when no one is listening?
I'm stopping at 13 because that's the horrorpunk thing to do. And I'm starting to feel like I'm writing my last will and testament, and even if I feel some days like I'm going to die... I'm not ready to go.
My goal is is to go out like I came in. Naked, screaming, and covered in blood.
I started Eljay at the beginning of 2002. Internet years are like dog years. So I've been around for a whole life time.
Major life changes....
1. When I first started out LJ, I was dating a woman who's favourite hobby was writing Happy Potter ChanSlash. I think she still does it. I'm not sure. But in the end she ended up getting involved with an equally worthless social retard I used to be friends with. Guess they decided if they're going to be losers, they can at least do it together.
2. In the years I spent on LJ here, I have lived in Evanston WY (for reference please check out one of my favourite movies "SLC PUNK"), Newark NJ, NOLA (pre and post Katrina), Washington DC, Atlanta GA, Dallas TX, Tombstone AZ, NYC... (okay, let's be honest, I would live just outside of these areas, but would it make sense to you if I told you I lived in "Waxahachie TX"? No. So shut up.)
3. I got engaged and married to a wonderful and beautiful woman who I'm still lucky to call a friend, even if we can't be together. Then I got engaged to a woman who... well let's just say I figured shit out before things got too permanent.
4. I've been intimately involved with a few women for some serious lengths of time, and some women for a very short length of time, and I don't regret a single moment of any of it. (Except for a few times I probably beat a dead whore for too long. Wait, I meant "horse". My bad.) And LJ got to see every painful moment. LJ probably still laughs at me about it. I laugh about it as well. Most of my exes have LJs, weirdly enough. And most of them are dotcomrades with each other. Think about that for a second. What sort of sick bitch friends their ex's exes? Well... what sort of sick bitch takes the ice cube trays?
5. LJ documented my travels as I drove across the country over and over again in a burning desire to be an artist. I drove enough to circumnavigate the world twice over. I destroyed a few cars doing it. I'm not sure when I tell people "I toured the country for 10 years" that they really get it. Sometimes I want to grab them by the face and go "10 YEARS. 10 GODDAMNED YEARS." Then again, it hasn't really been ten years, has it? Whatever, I like rounding shit up.
Also, I still don't know what it's like to be an artist. I think the whole thing is some sort of scam.
6. While I have had my fair share of interactions with some serious assholes, I have also been blessed with the fact that I have met some wonderful, wonderful people. Some of them I'm lucky to still have in my life. Some of them are waiting on the other side for me. Some of them aren't as grand as I thought. But I always cherish the good times, even if I seem to dwell on the bad shit.
7. I have saved a few lives, I have not taken a single one. And on all that's holy, I swear on all that's holy, I have been saved myself.
8. I have held a quite a few jobs, I have drastically changed career goals, and I've been unemployed a few times. No matter how bad your job sucks, being without is worse. Don't believe me? Try it.
9. I learned to love karaoke. Which is funny because I fucking hated it.
10. I have become a better artist, a better writer, a better person, a better lover. I have grown and matured in ways that some people will never understand. I have developed a genius that I swear will never be fully appreciated until I die. I'm strangely okay with that.
If you ever find yourself being compared to Ernest Hemingway, Hunter S Thompson, Jack Kerouac, and Henry Rollins... well, you're probably doing something awesome. Even if you're not very commercially viable.
11. I lived like a goddamned rock star for a few years. And while I think it might've done some serious damage to my health and psyche, I would never trade it for a moment. Yeah, I might've spent a few months subsisting off of cocaine and peanuts, I also got to bang three girls at once. Okay... I'm exaggerating, but I can roll with the best and keep them entertained. And life is about LIVING. So... whatever. If God is made in our image, he's going to high five me when I walk through those gates. And honestly, those gates have a weak lock, so tackle the guards and just run for it. Fate favours the bold, right?
12. I've released over 10 books. None of them sold. But I fucking released them. That's what counts.
13. Fuck... I could go on for hours, but why talk when no one is listening?
I'm stopping at 13 because that's the horrorpunk thing to do. And I'm starting to feel like I'm writing my last will and testament, and even if I feel some days like I'm going to die... I'm not ready to go.
My goal is is to go out like I came in. Naked, screaming, and covered in blood.
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no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 05:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 05:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 05:42 am (UTC)I like it when you write what comes out of your mouth, rather than what stews in your head.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 05:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 05:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 05:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 06:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 06:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 06:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 06:19 am (UTC)i just recycle the same shit every day all the time.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 05:45 am (UTC)I LOL'd.
Also, I am quite amused at the fact that #9 makes the list of "major life changes."
no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 05:50 am (UTC)ever want to taste the magic? have me sing "walk" by pantera in front of you.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-07 05:54 am (UTC)Спасибо за статью
Date: 2012-01-31 05:05 pm (UTC)Все прикольно сделано!
Date: 2012-02-12 11:18 am (UTC)