Today I am Nice. Tommorrow I am Honest.
Oct. 28th, 2010 04:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
krowfaceI decided sometime this summer to get my shit together. I had enough with how I was living and what I was putting myself through.
I started putting things in perspective, and I started to focus on what mattered.
I felt I simply did not have the time or energy to fight the world the way I used to. So I started picking my battles very, very carefully.
I also started paying attention. REALLY started paying attention.
I started making honest appraisals of what I wanted out of life. I started being honest with myself, and not just how I see others, but how I view them.
I've decided that I simply cannot keep re-investing my heart into things that only echo back diminishing returns.
This is why I have decided, first on a massive scale then in a more personal one, to start narrowing down my focuses.
I cannot be everywhere at once anymore. I also can't fight any more losing battles.
It's not about promises, it's about actions. And I have been saying this louder and louder, even as people have been hearing it less and less.
I've had to do this, for my own sake and sanity. I have cut off peer groups. I have ended business relationships. I've even gone as far as to cut ties with people I never would've thought I would ever let go of.
I may not have made the right choices, but they are the right choices for me. I have to believe this. Or will go mad with my own loss.
This summer I was forced to let go of a potential future, one that I still cannot address, and may never. This autumn, and most recently, I was forced to let go of another.
Sometimes sacrifices must be made. Sometimes we have to let go.
Sometimes, sometimes, we have to close the book on a fairytale. Even as we allow ourselves to be lost in a wonderful story, we have to know that the story always ends. One of our greatest crimes would be to disallow ourselves the chance to learn what lessons are offered to us.
Our greatest crime is to prevent someone from doing likewise.
I started putting things in perspective, and I started to focus on what mattered.
I felt I simply did not have the time or energy to fight the world the way I used to. So I started picking my battles very, very carefully.
I also started paying attention. REALLY started paying attention.
I started making honest appraisals of what I wanted out of life. I started being honest with myself, and not just how I see others, but how I view them.
I've decided that I simply cannot keep re-investing my heart into things that only echo back diminishing returns.
This is why I have decided, first on a massive scale then in a more personal one, to start narrowing down my focuses.
I cannot be everywhere at once anymore. I also can't fight any more losing battles.
It's not about promises, it's about actions. And I have been saying this louder and louder, even as people have been hearing it less and less.
I've had to do this, for my own sake and sanity. I have cut off peer groups. I have ended business relationships. I've even gone as far as to cut ties with people I never would've thought I would ever let go of.
I may not have made the right choices, but they are the right choices for me. I have to believe this. Or will go mad with my own loss.
This summer I was forced to let go of a potential future, one that I still cannot address, and may never. This autumn, and most recently, I was forced to let go of another.
Sometimes sacrifices must be made. Sometimes we have to let go.
Sometimes, sometimes, we have to close the book on a fairytale. Even as we allow ourselves to be lost in a wonderful story, we have to know that the story always ends. One of our greatest crimes would be to disallow ourselves the chance to learn what lessons are offered to us.
Our greatest crime is to prevent someone from doing likewise.
