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What the FUCK was I thinking last night?
In a drunken haze I wordlessly and gently embraced my ex at the bar last night.
I don't know why I did it. But I did it, and there's no taking that back.
We held each other in our arms for quite a while, and it almost felt like forever.
That old feeling came back, that way how we used to physically sync up like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
It felt good, and felt right, and felt loving and natural.
And I hate that.
I really, really hate that.
...
Afterwards I freaked out for a few minutes. Luckily, no one noticed, and my fiancee and a new friend was there to support me. Thank god. I could've done much, much worse.
And I think she might've let me.
I hate that too.
I don't know why I did it. But I did it, and there's no taking that back.
We held each other in our arms for quite a while, and it almost felt like forever.
That old feeling came back, that way how we used to physically sync up like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
It felt good, and felt right, and felt loving and natural.
And I hate that.
I really, really hate that.
...
Afterwards I freaked out for a few minutes. Luckily, no one noticed, and my fiancee and a new friend was there to support me. Thank god. I could've done much, much worse.
And I think she might've let me.
I hate that too.
no subject
*big hugs*