Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One moment.
1. I learned to read because of comic books. Not just any old comics, but I was raised on the good stuff. Creepy, Eerie, Conan, Vampirella. I was seduced by the goddesses of Heavy Metal before I even knew what women were.
Which really explains a lot about my aesthetic. I like beautiful women, big guns, and scary fucking monsters. It all makes sense really, once you get to the root of it all.
Note: It's 2010. Where's my hoverbike? wtf.
2. I am Drrty Jersey born and bred. You may take this boy out of Jersey, but you will never take Jersey out of this boy. Exit 136. I wear it with pride.
Diner? Better serve breakfast 24 hours. Otherwise, you're LYING. Also, it's "down the shore", and fuck Snooki and the rest of those assholes. They aren't even Jersey. But it's MTV. Next up: "Real World: Mecca". No? Well, why not?
Also, I'm a welfare baby and I was raised along Route 1. If you don't know what that means, forget about it.
3. My two weaknesses are women and girls. And probably bullets. Yeah, most definitely bullets.
I have a face for murder, and a body for porn. If you don't know, then you haven't spent the night painting the town red with me.
4. I judge people on their spelling and grammar. I constantly find spelling errors in the dumbest shit. Like diner menus. And it infuriates me. Who gets away with this shit? And why aren't they hiring people like me to be their copy editors? I could make a killing just walking down the street. But apparently people don't like when you "volunteer" to point out how stupid they are.
I've actually lost friends over this shit. You want to show respect for your fellow man, show respect for how you communicate with them. Asshole.
Then again, if I lost them so easily, how much of a friend were they?
5. The internet is a social experiment for me. I've been there since the very beginning, and it's become a playground for me. People call me a "troll", but the fact is, my genius will not be realized until after I die. Kinda like Andy Kaufman, but less of a sissy.
I have been a web-site designer since 1999. I want you to think about that. What where you doing in 99? Was the internet even a part of your life? Did you hear about it in the news ever? Was it apart of your life, or a part of society?
It was for me.... I was also into the thing people used BEFORE the internet. I've actually been a part of "the scene" since the early 90's. I was telnetting into global out-dials on amber screens while you kids were still in shortpants. Where has it gotten me? Nowhere.
6: I sing, play guitar, bass, drums, the trumpet, the mouth-harp, and I can do sequencing and editing. I've released two full length albums and one EP. I've created hours of industrial music. Not a single person noticed. Also, I'm an established photographer. I've designed and published seven books, the last of which being a fund-raiser for the lost artists of New Orleans. Thousands of images have been turned in to 300 photographs of museum level quality. These books were released and on the market for years. My greatest regret in my life is I used my talents to help those in need, and no one gave a shit. Those books were pulled from the market, and more than likely no one will see them again until after I die. Yes, I am bitter. Yes, it is your fault.
I am a professional fire manipulator. I can eat fire, blow fire, do transfers, and swing flaming things around me. It's stupid. Don't do it. Seriously. Playing with fire is one of the dumbest things anyone can do. Take it from me. I have to be drunk to do it, otherwise my hands shake to much because I'M FREAKED THE FUCK OUT.
I wrote and illustrated a full length graphic novel during the height of the "Splatterpunk" era back in the 90's. I will never know if it was published, because after I handed it in, they lost contact with me.
7. I've driven across the country back and forth for so many miles over the past eight years, I've actually circumnavigated the globe. Twice. I've learned that everyone around this country has something in common. We all have the same hopes, fears, and dreams. And most of us are idiots.
8. I am a man of gentlemanly behaviour and rough habits. I will open a door for a woman, help an old lady across the street, and then smack your mother for being a dirty whore. All in the same evening.
I am brutally honest. I have lost loves and built enemies because of this, and I refuse to have any regrets. Everyone who gets to know me, becomes my friend or my enemy. I'm okay with this. I have to be. Because if the laughter stops, the screaming starts. And nothing stops the screaming, does it?
I am a good man, a great person, an amazing lover, and one day I will be a wonderful husband. Anyone who tells you any different does not know me, or they got to know me too well, and they can't get over me.
My candle burns at both ends, and I suffer for it. I refuse to live any other way.
I am brutally honest, and loyal to a fault.
I'm an ordained minister. I'm also a buddhist. I'm a dharma punk. I serve as either an example, or a warning. Take your pick.
9. My life goal is to establish a museum for contemporary arts. Something like the Smithsonian, except more entertaining. Also, I'd like to squeeze out a kid. At least one. I'm going to name him "Gabriel Logan". I hope one day he takes everything I've learned, and makes the world a better place.
I abhor celebrity, yet I desire to be famous.
At the end of it all, I just want to convince one person to "do better".