Year in Review 2008
Jan. 1st, 2009 09:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
krowfaceThis year is a year of transition. Although almost nothing has evolved or changed in my professional life, my social life has changed dramatically. After 50,000 miles and 8 years, I have stopped touring the country. I have now settled down in the New York City area. My social circle is completely different, albiet more enjoyable, my lovelife is fantastic, and my artistic life is despressingly wounded and dying at this time.
Professionally:
Not much happened this year. I got off the road, settled in the New York area. I spent most of this year working at NYRF, and at Forest of Fear. A few different "clients" asked me to design websites for them, but when it came time to man up, they stopped returning my phone calls. I've decided there will no more freebies, no more volunteer work. You want me to do any sort of consultation work or design work for you, you're signing a goddamned contract. I will be paid for my time.
I did design a logo for a cosmetics company, that was nice.
Now I work at a gunshop. I sell fire arms to people.
My future plans include a tattoo apprenticeship. Cross your fingers, life's been pretty good at fucking my plans up nowadays. I want the gig, the studio wants me to have the gig, but I simply live too far away right now.
Relationships:
Even though I love her very much, I had to leave my wife this year. The break-up was pretty painful, full of broken promises and lip service. It's a chapter in my life that I've had to close for my own good. Sometimes I look at old pictures and I tear up, but this will fade in time. At least I never got a chance to see her in her wedding dress. That memory would probably kill me at this point.
We're attempting to be friends, but she's not doing a very good job at it. There's nothing I can do at this point.
As the relationship ended, a new one began. Much like this last one, someone came into my life that was there for me when I needed it. Someone who was able to let me know, as an outside observer, whether or not I was being calm and/or rational. She was there for me when I needed it, now I'm here for her when she needs it.
We've been together for 6 months now, and we're really gay for each other. Seriously. She says she has never been happier before, and I believe her. I'm starting to feel the same way.
As for friends, I maybe have turned my back on the majority of people that have been in my life for the past 8 years, but those who truly are my friends are still there for me, much as I am for them. I've been absorbed into a pre-existing circle of people here in NY, and I'm grateful. I'm suddenly back in the N/Y/H/C scene after being out of it for over 15 years.
I have fewer associates, but greater friends. I am happy and content with all of the relationships I'm in now. I do miss some of my old friends, and I miss some of the life I left behind.
Personally:
For the first half of the year I stayed focused on the present, nothing more. This second half of the year, I've worked on my future, only to find that the universe is fighting me every step of the way. The pain and anguish of trying to get ahead has caused me significant neurological problems. I now suffer from anxiety attacks. I self medicate with booze. My thoughts are constantly morbid. I feel as though I maybe on the verge of finally doing something with myself, I'm sure to die. At the most I need therapy; at the least I need to see a doctor to get a thorough examination. I need to know if this anxiety is caused by a shifting in my diabetic state, or if I have some sort of brian tumour. If these keeps up I will be at a loss. I might need to get heavily medicated, put on disability, and made to hide in a cave somewhere.
Strangely enough, I'm currently at my most fittest. I'm physically in excellent shape.
Artistically:
Every attempt at being an artist this year has failed. I pulled my books off of the market because they simply did not sell. My ACEOs sold just enough to cover costs. I have done almost nothing freelance. Places like "liveperson" has done nothing but filled my e-mail inbox with retarded requests for stupid projects. I'm really not into that place anymore.
However, I refuse to give up.
This year I will put my books back up on-line. I will turn the ACEOs into full sized images for use as posters, stickers, and t-shirts. I'm currently writing a zombie movie screenplay, and I think I'm going to write and illustrate a children's book, just because.
I might be putting my books back up. I lost all of my data, my books and illustrations and digital stuff to an HDD crash. So I'm currently fighting with the misery of ending my time as a photographer. My friends won't let me though. This setback might just force me into going back to traditional art.
I don't know yet.
Professionally:
Not much happened this year. I got off the road, settled in the New York area. I spent most of this year working at NYRF, and at Forest of Fear. A few different "clients" asked me to design websites for them, but when it came time to man up, they stopped returning my phone calls. I've decided there will no more freebies, no more volunteer work. You want me to do any sort of consultation work or design work for you, you're signing a goddamned contract. I will be paid for my time.
I did design a logo for a cosmetics company, that was nice.
Now I work at a gunshop. I sell fire arms to people.
My future plans include a tattoo apprenticeship. Cross your fingers, life's been pretty good at fucking my plans up nowadays. I want the gig, the studio wants me to have the gig, but I simply live too far away right now.
Relationships:
Even though I love her very much, I had to leave my wife this year. The break-up was pretty painful, full of broken promises and lip service. It's a chapter in my life that I've had to close for my own good. Sometimes I look at old pictures and I tear up, but this will fade in time. At least I never got a chance to see her in her wedding dress. That memory would probably kill me at this point.
We're attempting to be friends, but she's not doing a very good job at it. There's nothing I can do at this point.
As the relationship ended, a new one began. Much like this last one, someone came into my life that was there for me when I needed it. Someone who was able to let me know, as an outside observer, whether or not I was being calm and/or rational. She was there for me when I needed it, now I'm here for her when she needs it.
We've been together for 6 months now, and we're really gay for each other. Seriously. She says she has never been happier before, and I believe her. I'm starting to feel the same way.
As for friends, I maybe have turned my back on the majority of people that have been in my life for the past 8 years, but those who truly are my friends are still there for me, much as I am for them. I've been absorbed into a pre-existing circle of people here in NY, and I'm grateful. I'm suddenly back in the N/Y/H/C scene after being out of it for over 15 years.
I have fewer associates, but greater friends. I am happy and content with all of the relationships I'm in now. I do miss some of my old friends, and I miss some of the life I left behind.
Personally:
For the first half of the year I stayed focused on the present, nothing more. This second half of the year, I've worked on my future, only to find that the universe is fighting me every step of the way. The pain and anguish of trying to get ahead has caused me significant neurological problems. I now suffer from anxiety attacks. I self medicate with booze. My thoughts are constantly morbid. I feel as though I maybe on the verge of finally doing something with myself, I'm sure to die. At the most I need therapy; at the least I need to see a doctor to get a thorough examination. I need to know if this anxiety is caused by a shifting in my diabetic state, or if I have some sort of brian tumour. If these keeps up I will be at a loss. I might need to get heavily medicated, put on disability, and made to hide in a cave somewhere.
Strangely enough, I'm currently at my most fittest. I'm physically in excellent shape.
Artistically:
Every attempt at being an artist this year has failed. I pulled my books off of the market because they simply did not sell. My ACEOs sold just enough to cover costs. I have done almost nothing freelance. Places like "liveperson" has done nothing but filled my e-mail inbox with retarded requests for stupid projects. I'm really not into that place anymore.
However, I refuse to give up.
This year I will put my books back up on-line. I will turn the ACEOs into full sized images for use as posters, stickers, and t-shirts. I'm currently writing a zombie movie screenplay, and I think I'm going to write and illustrate a children's book, just because.
I might be putting my books back up. I lost all of my data, my books and illustrations and digital stuff to an HDD crash. So I'm currently fighting with the misery of ending my time as a photographer. My friends won't let me though. This setback might just force me into going back to traditional art.
I don't know yet.
