![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Feb. 8th, 2012 04:28 ami mean really, what are you supposed to do and say when someone just flat out tells you 'there is no market for what you do.'
i guess it all makes sense. i might be just as good as anyone else out there, but i'm simply not as good as THE BEST that's out there.
so why would there be desire for what i do, if someone out there is doing it better. and that makes sense to me. and i'm okay with that.
so that's about it. done with the photo thing*. there's some books and posters, but it's time to pack up the rest of my shit and just call it a day.
having to let go of something like that is pretty painful. looking back and realizing you really spent way too much time trying to turn around and just make money fall out of the sky. it doesn't matter how hard you work, or for why you're doing it. if the world isn't looking in your way, nothing gets to happen.
so yeah. it hurts. it has to hurt. there's gotta be a blow to your head about it. i'm kinda fucked up about it, but i think i'll make it. i just have to learn to really let go of the whole thing.
it's like letting an arm get cut off. do you bury that limb or carry the ashes?
so gotta be done with it, right?
the good thing is, i guess there's something there, if i can walk away from the whole photography thing, i can focus on something else.
opening up that box full of art supplies and pulling out those certain brushes is like that feeling ya get in your head when a serial killer finally posts bail and digs the hatchet out of the flower garden.
* and because i said 'done', i mean i will probably come out with a new book tomorrow.
i guess it all makes sense. i might be just as good as anyone else out there, but i'm simply not as good as THE BEST that's out there.
so why would there be desire for what i do, if someone out there is doing it better. and that makes sense to me. and i'm okay with that.
so that's about it. done with the photo thing*. there's some books and posters, but it's time to pack up the rest of my shit and just call it a day.
having to let go of something like that is pretty painful. looking back and realizing you really spent way too much time trying to turn around and just make money fall out of the sky. it doesn't matter how hard you work, or for why you're doing it. if the world isn't looking in your way, nothing gets to happen.
so yeah. it hurts. it has to hurt. there's gotta be a blow to your head about it. i'm kinda fucked up about it, but i think i'll make it. i just have to learn to really let go of the whole thing.
it's like letting an arm get cut off. do you bury that limb or carry the ashes?
so gotta be done with it, right?
the good thing is, i guess there's something there, if i can walk away from the whole photography thing, i can focus on something else.
opening up that box full of art supplies and pulling out those certain brushes is like that feeling ya get in your head when a serial killer finally posts bail and digs the hatchet out of the flower garden.
* and because i said 'done', i mean i will probably come out with a new book tomorrow.
