Slow Pour Spouts are a Waste of My Goddamned Time.

Torture. Do you understand what it is? Do you really, REALLY know what it is?

Fucking amateurs. You make me sick.

Try doing harder. Try being better.

I've seen angrier toddlers. And I have choked them out just as easily as I have grown adults.

There's no real difference, except when I do it, people lose their goddamned minds.

But when hollywood does it, it's a block-buster movie.

Block-Buster's shut a few stores down this year though, yes?

Yes.

You. Me. Bottle of booze. Handful of sleeping pills. Staring at each other. First one to blink loses. Winner gets to hit you with the paddles. Zap-zap-zap.

I call this game "shaking hands with jesus".