Eddie and The Egg: A Story of the New America

A work in progress:

Eddie Guerra was accidently born an American citizen, being as he had the gross indecency to do so in Guantanamo Bay. At first, his birth was a quick "weird news" clip found all over the internet. But it was election day, so no one really paid much attention. It wasn't until a few years later, after celebrations died down, that someone pointed, out in the Web(2.0), the question "Wait, doesn't that make him a citizen?"

Too quickly too much attention was paid to him. The previous administration was unable to cover up their mistake. The next amdministration waved him like a flag, neither one ever could've guessed him happening. We were ill prepared for waht was next.

It was decided, at the end of it all, that he would be placed in a sort of "transparent" protective custody.

This prevented him from being kidnapped, assassinated, or raised in normalcy.

As he grew up, he was always clumsily shadowed by the Secret Service. However, no one was allowed to explain any of it all to him.

By the time he was an adult, he developed black-outs, due to a pre-natal twin being absorbed into him, causing a perfectly formed biscuspid to press too hard against his frontal lobe on the rare occasion.

Also, it didn't help his frequency of black-outs that he was an alcoholic. The type of alcoholic that would drink steaadily and profusely until he would just painfully and bodily fall over. No stuttering, slurring, or stammering. None of those easy to figure out signs of a typical Saturday morning cartoon drunk.

Just a sudden shutdown. No warning. End of Day.

Because of these sudden random black-outs, and the government mandated protection, and the weird almost peripheral media attention towards this "Terrorist Bred American". He developed a sort of Christ-like existence.

He floated in Limbo. Strangers would gawk and stare, but none would actually contact him or connect with him.

He came to believe that he could kill with him mind, simply based on the fact that any time anyone spent too much time with him, he would suddenly wake up a hundred miles away. Far from his dinner guests, with no explainations. Never to see them again. Without a clue as to what possibly could've happened. Even if the answer was nothing more than an ill-timed black-out and an ill-timed Secret Service intervention.

All this aside, he was a gentle and caring soul, and he grew to be cautious and introverted, in an attempt to prevent this perceived horrible fate from happening to others.

In time, it came to pass that the rest of the world started to see him as a sort of phantasmic Christ figure. A vague re-awakening of a previous messiah. However, after time, lines blurred, and he started to become a sort of Virgin Mother figure as well.

Cut to a quick scene where he has a lengthy and secretive interview with a hillbilly ex-president.

This man he meets speaks at length about the horrible things he did to the country in the name of pleasing his friends and family. All and all, at the end of it, he comes to learns his friends were just bad business, and eventually, he learns to become ashamed of the dark era of american politics he created.

After a night of banter over a fireplace in a lodge somewhere deep in the heart of the Republic of Texas, Eddie wakes up far removed from his last discussion.

He awakes in the center of a grassy field. The soil damp on his back, the sky dark against his eyes, curled up in a fetal spooning position around a massive ostrich egg.

As he wanders across the country from this point, events lead him to believe that this was when he became the Mother Virgin to this new Child-Christ.

When he arrives in the American southwest, he is absorbed into a gang of bikers known as the "High Desert Rats", as they battle a two pronged war running supplies across a battlefront created by the Arizona Minutemen and the Independent Mexican Army.

During this, the promise of the Christ-Egg prevents the start of the Second Mexican-American War.

By the end of this story, the oil-hoarding terrorists of the Free Republic of Texas were nuked, California becomes it's own nation shortly before sinking into the ocean, and Arizona Bay becomes the new capital of the hopeful and promising rebirth of America.