(no subject)

 I have been so sick for so long I don't remember what it's like to be truly healthy anymore. 

Tomorrow morning I will go see a doctor for the first time in about a decade. It's been really nice out these past few days, and it's Christmas in a few days. So with my luck I'm probably about to get some really bad news. 

I'm not scared, but I am afraid.

Every scenario in my head ends with me losing this one.