How Much Do You Swear?

Based on my Status Updates:

I swore 201 times!

I swear more than 100% of all Facebook users.

Here are all of my swearings:

Dec 4, 2010	hey look i'm raising awareness of child abuse but reminding everyone how funny it is. next up i'm going to shit in someone's purse to raise cancer awareness.
Dec 2, 2010	"You have been sending harassing messages to other users. This is a violation of Facebook's Terms of Use. Among other things, messages that are hateful, threatening, or obscene are not allowed. Continued misuse of Facebook's features could result in your account being disabled." Dear Facebook, eat dick. You're really not that important to me.
Nov 29, 2010	fuck. how typical.
Nov 28, 2010	i am so fucking ready to move out.
Nov 25, 2010	happy thanksgiving everyone. have a good holiday with your loved on- FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STAY THE HELL OUT OF MANHATTAN!!!
Nov 24, 2010	holy shit. bus ride from hell. the driver GOT LOST IN SOUTH CAMDEN FOR OVER AN HOUR. at one point i was woken up by passengers screaming "EAST GO EAST." hours behind schedule, we had to stop to "switch buses". we weren't switching drivers, so i told everyone good luck and bailed. spending the night in NJ. i'm demanding my money back.
Nov 22, 2010	have a complaint about me? if you tell me, i'll take you seriously. if you tell someone else, i'll laugh at you for being a pussy.
Nov 19, 2010	this might be one of those nights where i don't remember shit. good. i'm glad. one of us has to have a good time once in a while.
Nov 17, 2010	for the love of god and all that's holy, i need to find a fucking club around here. i need some darkwave/EBM something fierce.
Nov 14, 2010	good company last night. slept well. it's nice out, so i had a good walk. now i'm going to sit down, drink coffee, read a book, and figure out what colour dong to draw on Damnit Nicole Pank's face while she's sleeping on my couch.
Nov 11, 2010	Wanna learn the real face of a person? Challenge their beliefs. Today I actually bared witness to a half dozen people say "there should be a limit to freedom of speech." really? fuck you. because people who burn books also burn people. and anyone who hates freedom hates america. so maybe YOU should be "loving it or leaving it." assholes.
Nov 1, 2010	still very sick. i think i woke up at 6 am for a reason. that's to whip up a mug of theraflu so i can knock my ass back out again.
Oct 27, 2010	got home from work around midnight. fell asleep around 2. woke up at 6. have to pull a double today. wtf. seriously. wtf. fuck stress. and i hate how the first thing to go for me is a good night's sleep. it's only going to get worse as the week progresses.
Oct 21, 2010	you and all yours. you know what youtr like? you're like hot fucking razor blades running up and down my gentle flesh. am i asking? oh you bet i'm asking. i'm that hot barbed wire dragging across your mouth.
Oct 20, 2010	"no one has to take it in the ass ever if they dont want to." - Kano Diebitsch
Oct 15, 2010	sometimes on the way home from work i think about my next big project that i'd like to work on. then i remember my fucking laptop is dead. fuck.
Oct 7, 2010	Fuck Breast Cancer Awareness... and here's why: (continued in comments)
Sep 27, 2010	Holy shit. What is with this "can you do a double tomorrow" thing that work keeps doing to me? Hey, I wanted a job, guess I got one.
Sep 21, 2010	Good news, bad news. Bad news is the battery pack on my laptop failed out. Good news is my new job starts on thursday. I'm full of whiskey and I FUCKING LOVE COLOURING.
Sep 8, 2010	fuck. i'm awake. and i can't sleep. i should lay down though.
Sep 7, 2010	full day of doing stuff. now to stop doing stuff. mmm... 40 of PBR. how i lo- OH WHAT THE FUCK THE CAT IS IN HEAT AGAIN.( it's a long list... )
Sep 6, 2010	bwaahaha. Damnit Nicole Pank is back in town. Time to bust out the 4lokos. the poor girl has a bad weekend. maybe i can help fix it.
Sep 3, 2010	today is shaping up to be a wonderful day. woke up next to Amethyst Gilmour, had an awesome giant breakfast made by Kake Clementine Earnest, got accepted into the beta program for a new flash game engine, and tonight i'll get to see Damnit Nicole Pank!
Sep 1, 2010	today went from amazing to real shitty in short order. fuck this. i'm going to sleep and trying again tomorrow.
Aug 24, 2010	holy shit am i sore. i mean like my FINGERS need to be massaged. but whatever. i got to work for a day, so i am grateful. also got a bunch of videogaming out of my system. today i'm going to drink coffee and be productive.
Aug 23, 2010	busted my ass. it was totally worth it. i was happy to have an afternoon of hard work for the first time in weeks. now... microbrews and fallout 3. <3
Aug 21, 2010	and now i'm awake at 3am. damnit! >.<
Aug 19, 2010	Hey! Did anyone else out there notice we just pulled the last of our combat troops out of Iraq today? That means the war is officially over. HEY DID ANYONE ELSE NOTI- fuck you all.
Aug 18, 2010	"the party starts when jason fucks off and dies!" - thomas
Aug 18, 2010	Holy shit. I go for a few days without coffee, and the moment I get my hands on some, I fucking overdose. UGh. I'm gonna go vibrate myself to bed and watch something educational.
Aug 17, 2010	i just stumbled across the most amazing website. omg. you people are going to have your faces rocked the fuck off soon.
Aug 16, 2010	i unfriended you. trying to casually chat me up with "hey why is this guy spending money on me?" is fucking.... ugh. what are smart people so goddamned stupid sometimes? i'm disappointed.
Aug 12, 2010	Well, if I'm going to bust my ass and not make any money doing it. I might as well have fun. Coffee and 3D stuff it is.
Aug 6, 2010	oh for fuck's sake. why am i up? oh, yeah. the rush of accomplishment. it's like a drug. addictive like success, but not quite as expensive as ambition.
Aug 4, 2010	Hours later and I now have enough free space to run a proper defrag. 36.6G free out of 223.4G. Sheesh. What the hell is in here? Anyways... 20% fragmented. That's good right? ...
Jul 31, 2010	Oh hey good morning. The ex-roommate is going to be here for the last of her shit and she wants us to write an "addendum" for a lease she has nothing to do with. She's basically trying to be a cunt and waste our time. She's also going to be here an hour earlier than she said earlier, because the world revolves around her. Oh, and your webhosting has been suspended for nonpayment. Enjoy your day.
Jul 28, 2010	And... the good guys win. Met with the landlord. The ex-roommate can go FUCK herself. XD
Jul 28, 2010	KAKE IS A DIRTY DIRTY WHORE AND SHE LIKES TO EAT THE POO POO.
Jul 28, 2010	Also, facebook stopped sending me notifications a few days ago. So if you need to reach me, or you're trying to continue a discussion with me, better take it to messaging, or I will NEVER see it. (I guess not getting 100 e-mails a day from this fucking place is a good thing.)
Jul 26, 2010	i like how my ex-roommate kelli has totally abandoned her cat. fucking douche.
Jul 25, 2010	holy shit. look at it pour.
Jul 24, 2010	It's not wrong to let goAnd let the woman ride youFor fuck sake, don't lose touchWith the dog that's inside youShe wanted what you hadYou bet she smelt the sporeDon't give up, fuck her upOne more time, slam that door
Jul 24, 2010	scrubbin out the old room. fuck. my ex-roommate was a dirty bitch. i'm half naked and pouring sweat. this is some serious BS.
Jul 24, 2010	aaaaaaaaaaand............... Goodbye Pixie! I'm really excited. We got rid of two troublesome bitches in as many days. :D
Jul 23, 2010	holy shit. i didn't just eat some indian food. i ate the fuck out of it. i almost died on the walk home. the toilet and i are no longer on speaking terms.
Jul 21, 2010	/me wakes up. oh hey, the roommate "moved out". she told me she'll "do her best" to get the rest of her shit out of my room before my furniture shows up. /me goes back to sleep.
Jul 21, 2010	Dear Adobe, I thought getting rid of imageready was a shitty move. I need that part of photoshop to do gif animations, rollover states, and image-slicing. Then I changed my mind because photoshop still has gif animations and image-slicing. I found out today you got rid of rollover states. WTF. Why would you do that? Oh! To see dreamweaver. You assholes. /me opens demonoid...
Jul 20, 2010	okay, seriously, wtf. hey i'm going to go to bed early to fix my sleeping schedule. so i go to bed before 10, wake up at 7 am. suddenly i'm awake for over 24 hours. -fuck-
Jul 14, 2010	Today's Meme: I want ALL of you to recommend people out of your friend's list that you think will get along SMASHINGLY with me. I like girls with small hands, neck tattoos and daddy issues. And I don't mean "my dad just grounded me yesterday" type issues. (Oh, and artists, free thinkers, and doctors of journalism. NO FUCKING HIPPIES OR REPUBLICANS.)
Jul 11, 2010	Okay. So 7-11 number one didn't have my flavour anymore. 7-11 number two's machine was broken. Finally scored at number 3. Which was a fucking filthy zoo due to the disrespectful fucking animals there. I actually told some kid to go fuck himself because he was using the "free slurpie" micro-cup to drink sodas, rinsing it out into the spill tray, causing it to dump all over the floor.
Jul 11, 2010	Dear Facebook, what is it about my profile that makes you think I like things like "311 and The Offspring" and "gravity feed charcoal smokers" and "Starbucks". Fuck you FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!!! ugh. i'm going out and getting a slushie. or 5.
Jul 10, 2010	Saw a hardcore chick I know from Popeye's post on her FB status: "Lucky your fat asian slut ass wasn't there last night, you would've had 20 niggas roll up on you." I asked "What sort of person needs to roll 20 deep on one girl?" She unfriended me. So I guess the answer is: "A coward." Go hollywood or go home. Fucking poseur.
Jul 5, 2010	this is not me. this is a zombie. i'm brain dead and sick as fuck. and for some reason i'm reshuffling my portfolio. (polishing brass on the titanic.)
Jul 3, 2010	The Warren is feeling pretty sick. Each one of us is in a different circle of hell. -bleh-
Jul 1, 2010	So everyone's up in arms over what Mel Gibson said. You know what, I've said worse yelling at my roommate's dog when I catch it blowing me when I'm trying to take a shit. You people need to calm the fuck down.
Jun 30, 2010	dear south st. in philly, today your ass is mine. bwahaha.
Jun 30, 2010	auto-logs in and loves the cock
Jun 28, 2010	holy shit. crisis averted. still, might as well finish this project. it'll come in handy soon.
Jun 24, 2010	this fucking heat today knocked my dick in the dirt. i'm playing catch-up, but Kake Clementine Earnest is playing Oblivion next to me, and now i want to play! D:<
Jun 23, 2010	okay, enough fucking around. i need to EAT something. i did that thing where i got to creative and forgot about foods.
Jun 19, 2010	i just rage quit mafia wars, vampire wars, and mobsters 2. fuck those games. fuck those stupid fucking invites.
Jun 19, 2010	@Master_P: @YoungJedi - you want this? Hmm? Gonna strike me down? Hmm? Use your hate? Hmm? So cute when they're young. #shitmyapprenticesays
Jun 15, 2010	tonight for dinner i'm gonna make some chicken tikka masala while you niggas make faces.
Jun 6, 2010	exhausted. plain and fucking simple. not sleepy. not tired. this goes deeper. in so many directions. i am fucking exhausted.
Jun 3, 2010	Holy shit. I'm getting rave reviews on the new site! Thanks guys.
Jun 1, 2010	holy cow. i'm WAY ahead of schedule on this site. I need to slow the fuck down. -wink-
May 31, 2010	yay. i slept like a rock. after busting my ass, i think i'm going to sit down, work on Loki's Workshop's website for a bit, then it's beer, video games, and grilling something with the Kake Clementine Earnest.
May 30, 2010	one weekend down, two more to go at THE 2010 SOUTHERN CT RENAISSANCE FESTIVAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (why the hell does the page have so many damned exclamation points?
May 29, 2010	fuck. i was thinking about going to popeye's tonight, but i'm so goddamned exhausted from work i don't think it's possible. :(
May 28, 2010	holy shit! i'm actually going to work at a ren faire for the first time in years, and i'm going to wear GARB for the first time in longer. haha. and it looks like i'm one of the top few "seniors".
May 26, 2010	holy shit! it's starting to fall together!
May 25, 2010	holy shit i'm knackered. and i still have a bit of work to do on the site before i pass out.
May 24, 2010	Peter Steele, Ronnie James Dio, now Paul Grey? Holy shit. Satan's gonna have one hell of a band this summer.
May 23, 2010	holy shit. my brains. my braaaaaaaains. time to pass out, i got a full day of webstuffs again tomorrow.
May 23, 2010	my project for the weekend has slowed to a crawl due to this horrible fucking injury. who knew website design could be so dangerous?
May 22, 2010	holy shit. my fucking neck and shoulders are cranked up something fierce.
May 18, 2010	WHAT THE FUCK. ENOUGH WITH THE CHUBBY BABY VIDEO. HOLY SHIT.
May 17, 2010	it's Thomas Harvey's birthday today. i think today's going to be a good day, once that bitch brings me a sandwich. XD
May 13, 2010	Kake Clementine Earnest and I are fucking nerds. We're making superhero vehicles in Saint's Row II. God help us.
May 13, 2010	what the FUCK. gmail is not responding, and my fucking phone is off. how is my phone off?!? i just paid the bill a week ago, and i've barely used it since then!
May 12, 2010	...still fucking looking for work....
May 11, 2010	so my FB profile did the big switch-over, turning interests such as "pin ups, martinis, self-evolution" into likes for pages about "pine, ups, martinism, self, and evolution." i fucking hate you FB.
May 10, 2010	So far my job hunting has netted: a month of wasted time, sleepless nights wasted for naught, an inbox full of scams, and a stress level that would kill a normal mortal. seriously, how do people find work nowadays? fuck this. i should give up. everything i touch turns to shit. i am not impressed.
May 10, 2010	So... news on the Camp Shane front. So apparently they wanted me to run their entire internet presence for the awesome sum of... wait for it... 3.75$ AN HOUR. Oh I'm sorry, at one point did I let you assume I was looking for an internship?!? FUCK YOU.
May 7, 2010	So after getting the little pink slip that says "we're too afraid to put a large envelope in a medium sized mailbox", i went to the website and told them "leave it by the door". their response? they handed me another little pink slip. Guess I'm walking to the damned post office tomorrow morning. Assholes.
May 6, 2010	car keys - not here. power cable - not here. phone - still off. contract - not signed. worst of all... liquor cabinet - empty. how am i supposed to deal without it? also, it doesn't help that my fiancee keeps getting shit on as well. >:(
May 3, 2010	wanna get me to unfriend you REAL quick? join that fucking "impeach obama" group.
May 2, 2010	Pillow Pants is her pussy troll. Duh.
May 2, 2010	holy shit. brutal legend? great fucking game.
Apr 28, 2010	Well... no call, no e-mail. Guess this fucking client has decided they don't want to pay me. Guess it's time to find another job. Hey guess has two thumbs and an interview on friday to work at Popeye's?
Apr 27, 2010	and then Damnit Nicole Pank came and kidnapped me in the middle of the night. we had disco fries, and coffee, and now we're harassing the internet until our heads fall off.
Apr 26, 2010	Good show Flogging Molly, good fucking show.
Apr 26, 2010	Holy shit. My sister just beat me at dibs on some tramp here. Lol.
Apr 26, 2010	River city extension. From tom's river nj. Good fucking music.
Apr 24, 2010	I just watched my sister destroy some guy at the bar. Then some random idiot decided to introduce me as 'cock' to everyone around me.
Apr 24, 2010	HOLY SHIT. this host is fucking ridiculous. no permission to create new databases, no permission to CHMOD files. WHAT THE FUCK?
Apr 23, 2010	FUCKING MAGNETS, HOW DO *THEY* WORK?
Apr 23, 2010	dear facebook, that's for changing "became a fan" to "like", now i get to watch a deluge of pages such as "it rough", "dirty" "with two girls at once" and "up the ass". Thanks for inciting more crapflooding, you douche.
Apr 21, 2010	WANTED: time with the boys. must include beer, videogames, and red fucking meat.
Apr 20, 2010	also, i can't fucking believe i shaved my head for a 30 second meeting with a judge. WTF. :(
Apr 20, 2010	Okay, so I finally watched "Repo Men". Hey guess what... nothing like "Repo!". And it was pretty good too. Fucking haters.
Apr 19, 2010	Dear IIS5, eat a dick. you and your stupid inability to install visweb tool 10 or whatever the fuck it is i'm supposed to have installed so i can have a sitemap made for me. dick.
Apr 14, 2010	holy shit. i'm so excited for my new job, i kinda wanna start RIGHT now.
Apr 13, 2010	and... i got the job! all heil the chief executive officer of all things internet related for Shane Camps... at least, i think that's the title. i don't know. what the hell WOULD be the title?
Apr 12, 2010	oh for fuck's sake. i thought all this time i was 35. nope. i'm 34. math is stupid.
Apr 11, 2010	today is videogame day. i'm taking the day off from stress. damnit.
Apr 10, 2010	it's 2 am. i just got home from popeye's, and i'm fucking sober. THE END IS NIGH.
Apr 6, 2010	Just put together my design resume. I had no idea I knew so damned much.
Apr 4, 2010	tone it down? whaddya mean tone it down? i shouldn't be comparing website design to a Twainese lady-boy? What the blue-waffle is this shit?!?
Mar 24, 2010	Unemployment: filed. Researching "wrongful termination suit": done. Apparently, unless I was fired for being black, there's nothing I can do. As I saw in my research, "law is not about being fair." So fuck you if you're the employee. You get nothing, even if it's an evil bitch in your face.
Mar 17, 2010	if you knew the true meaning of st. patrick's day, would you actually celebrate it? fuck this holiday.
Mar 16, 2010	ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? this is the first time i'm going to say this on FB. "FML".
Mar 12, 2010	last night? A+ would do again. (i need to wear a shirt with instructions on how to become re-acquainted with me however, wtf is THAT shit about?)
Mar 11, 2010	can i go a few months without someone trying to kick me out of my home? these fucking bitches don't even OWN the place and want me out. fuck em all. i'm going NOWHERE.
Mar 8, 2010	fuck this noise. i'm going to popeye's. i got some drinking to do.
Mar 8, 2010	came in to help out at the store for a few hours, got paid for my trouble by getting fired and kicked out of my home by the "owner" of the store. >:( every day is a fucking adventure here.
Mar 5, 2010	fuck. the stress levels here are killing me, and it's not even MY stress. >:(
Mar 5, 2010	well, nothing weird happened last night. fucking ex pulled a douchebag move, but that's not really anything else but typical nowadays.
Mar 2, 2010	looks like someone is trying to convince me to whitewash their fence for them. yeah i've seen this game, and baby, you ain't very fucking good at it. (not a week in and i'm already getting sick of REPOlitics. why am doing this again?)
Feb 22, 2010	end of the vacation. dinner with the family, then a quick visit with Damnit Nicole Pank.
Feb 10, 2010	blizzard huh? my ass.
Feb 6, 2010	the ONLY thing i like about winter? snow. and you know what, I DON'T SEE ANY GODDAMNED SNOW OUT THERE. fuck this noise, i'm getting a haircut.
Feb 1, 2010	still in C-Ford. having a blast. dinner last night was awesome and full of laughs and love. full. like Damnit Nicole Pank's pants were full of phone. i wish i could've had more people show up, but i'll take what i can get, and get what i can take.
Jan 26, 2010	So you wanna play games, you CUNT? hey guess what, I turned it around on you. And you'll never even know. Hope it burns. go fuck yourself.
Jan 22, 2010	first time out in charge of our appearance at a gunshow. big step. and it's a SHITSTORM OF CHAOS. i am literally sleeping surrounded by rifles. hahahaahahha. no, not funny.
Jan 19, 2010	for fuck's sake. the hoops i have to jump through... thank god i'm too stupid to quit.
Jan 13, 2010	Why the hell do I have 3 different event reminders for the SAME EVENT this friday?!?
Jan 4, 2010	...and twelve hours later i'm feeling sick as fuck again. meh! time to curl up and watch clone wars. maybe that website o' mine'll be done next weekend.
Jan 4, 2010	-kicks car- damnit vile wommyn.
Jan 3, 2010	i was just sick. now i'm sick again. goddamnit! fuck this noise, i'm hibernating the rest of winter.
Jan 2, 2010	-shudder- holy shit, it's like hoth out there and i don't have a tauntaun to slip into. >:( oh well, time to do it the ruskie way and drink some vodka, listen to loud music, and write like its the end of the world.
Dec 25, 2009	uh oh. the GF tried to keep up with me. now she's shithammered and passing out on me. should i rape her butt? facebook decides her face in 5... 4... 3...
Dec 21, 2009	became a fan of FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID MISPELLED FAN PAGE page.
Dec 18, 2009	-mood: GETTING MY ASS KICKED BY A SUDDEN AND NASTY COLD.
Nov 27, 2009	if i had the mind to play games like you, i would fucking decimate you forever. instead, i shake my head and laugh. you're fucking pathetic. fyi.
Nov 25, 2009	i would like to thank all the assholes on my news feed. i'm now into lady gaga. -hangs head-
Nov 20, 2009	... i'm currently trying to figure out when to speak up, and when to shut the fuck up.
Nov 17, 2009	...and i made it home. i made manhattan my bitch, but skinny puppy made me THEIR bitch.
Nov 16, 2009	tonight manhattan was ALL mine. i fucked that bitch, and i fucked her good and well. tomorrow she will walk bowlegged and awkward, and my name will echo in the back of her head.
Nov 11, 2009	...time to grind some fucking metal. -evil laugh-
Nov 8, 2009	"Titties and ass my friend, no matter how much you smash that phone, it still won't silence that ring tone." -jahz
Nov 8, 2009	busted my ass this weekend. now it's time for some wine, some chocolates, and some sweet words whispered in my love's ears.
Nov 7, 2009	...is fucking shot out and exhausted.
Nov 5, 2009	KITTEN NEEDS A HOME!!! Black stray kitten was found on site at NYRF (Tuxedo, NY, 10987) and taken in by my buddy Kaedin. He tamed it and now the little boy needs a home. Kaedin's other cat is not happy with him around. Very very sweet and loving. First person who says something and gets there gets him. contact me, Damnit Nicole Pank or Erin Dunn .
Nov 4, 2009	Twenty Seven rings, Zero me giving a shit.
Nov 3, 2009	... you know what i could use? a day full of kissing. i'm talking all day long, never stopping for nothing but water and carmex, full on "i am the cartographer to your fucking molars" sort of kissing. and then more kissing. and maybe some frenching.
Oct 31, 2009	Time to ring in the new year. Good and proper. With love and hope. Time for the harvest. (Where the hell is my shovel?)
Oct 22, 2009	nothing sets the tone for the day like a tasty tasty lunch. that's right you fuckers. it's a FB food update. eat it. eat it raw. (better than bitching about someone one town over, right?)
Oct 20, 2009	...strange missive from a distant land. apparently my reputation reaches as far out as that shithole state fondly called "ohio".
Oct 19, 2009	You fuckin' liar. Tell me the truth. Do the world a favor stop cutting your arms, and slit your throat.
Oct 17, 2009	stockholm syndrome? sign me the fuck up~!
Oct 15, 2009	karaoke tonight? yeah. i fucking think so. let's vote now, shall we?
Oct 14, 2009	i just spent an hour in utter darkness listening to the wind howl. THIS is why i fucking drink. because my mind won't shut off on its own. this time, the sting of betrayal keeps me awake.
Oct 10, 2009	I owe a lot of people some serious apologies. Some serious fucking apologies. (1)
Oct 5, 2009	devils vs. rangers tonight?!?! who wants to hang out and help me watch the rangers choke on cock?
Oct 4, 2009	FUCK. my house is out of gas. haha. there goes my plans for dinner. i should just go back to bed. >:(
Oct 2, 2009	... is terrified. tonight i face the future. tonight i look love and life straight in the face. and i will love without remorse. damn me, for i will dive head first into into life, love and the future.
Oct 1, 2009	started the day off by selling a 1000 revolver for 1200. spent the day working at a relaxingly brisk pace, then ended the shift with some light gunsmithing. i <3 my job. if you don't <3 YOUR job, fucking quit.
Sep 29, 2009	FUCK. i am restless, and without booze and snacks. godDAMNit.
Sep 25, 2009	omg! i've got a hot date with a very beautiful young girl tonight. AND she's a sweet heart. AND i'm a slut. so it should all work out.
Sep 23, 2009	what? my cloves are banned. FUCK YOU gov't. serious. cloves? how many children die of starvation in this country every month?!?
Sep 22, 2009	DAMNIT. watching warehouse 13 i find out my favourite character is a BAD guy.... (30 seconds later) OH COME ON! HER?!?!
Sep 22, 2009	today was NOT a good day. and suddenly i feel tonight won't be so good either. i fucking hate how this world works sometimes.
Sep 20, 2009	"crotch is the new black. dick is the new white."
Sep 19, 2009	just kicked the drama llama in the face, once for good measure. watched them cry out and scatter like cockroaches. hiding behind the cape of a bitter idiot. i might make a habit of this. once a month, open a bottle of wine, and spend a few minutes reminding a sad circle of people "i still live, and you could not win."
Sep 19, 2009	dear facebook, stop telling me i have one message in my inbox. I know you're FUCKING lying.
Sep 15, 2009	FUCK. my x-box is giving me an E73 code. :(
Sep 14, 2009	RIP patrick swayze. (just kidding. fuck that douchebag.)
Sep 11, 2009	holy shit! 54 members of the KrowFace cult! i <3 you all!
Sep 9, 2009	gunshop quote of the day: "let's bring the 50's back [to the store]. let's wear ties, drink martinis, and FUCK MAD BITCHES."
Sep 6, 2009	Man my butt hurts!
Sep 6, 2009	fuck this noise. time to cook a steak.
Sep 5, 2009	it's starve a cold, get a fever shithammered right? i can't remember.
Sep 4, 2009	practice tonight kicked my ass. it was awesome. we're so hyped up for the show next weekend.
Sep 4, 2009	No one should die be- no. fuck that. everyone should die. everyone HAS to die. it's the nature of things. and don't think for a moment your status update is somehow going to fix anything.
Sep 2, 2009	DAMNIT. karaoke was moved to tonight, and i just ran out of phone minutes. >:(
Sep 2, 2009	"things are going to get hairy next week at work." what the HELL is that supposed to mean?
Aug 30, 2009	fuck this noise. it's time to drink until i can't feel feelings anymore.
Aug 28, 2009	okay fuckers. you win. my phone is back on. -sigh-
Aug 27, 2009	.... "block".... "block".... "block".... "block".... fuck you, you fucking cunt. game is up. show is over. hope you choke on our fucking history. hope that throbbing empty spot kills you. it ends now. because *i* choose it too...
Aug 26, 2009	hey cellphone, enjoy your fucking swim! fuck you! -toss-
Aug 25, 2009	you wanna know the fucking difference between me and you? i never once told my friends talking to you was "an act of betrayal". you're no longer a twat. now you're just a fucking cunt.
Aug 25, 2009	god, what the hell am i up to now? (25)
Aug 24, 2009	lots of work done. we now have a full script, an excellent director for the show, and our troupe now has a manager. life is good. fuck the haters. time to drink gin and watch "the quick and the dead".
Aug 20, 2009	so who's the lucky fucker who's taking me to Popeye's for karaoke tonight?
Aug 18, 2009	the date was going well, and then she started talking about sex with a robot. the one from judge dred. now the the date is awesome. he had a medipack for fuck's sake.
Aug 18, 2009	QOTD: "(11:08:15 PM) ladycrypty: Think you can join without whipping your dick out? (11:08:58 PM) ladycrypty: ... Your dick is already out, isn't it?"
Aug 17, 2009	i am getting the dumbest fucking customers today. i'm going to pistol whip the next moron that wanders in here.
Aug 16, 2009	fuck. i need a few laps in the pool, and a massage. i need to get on this whole "joining the club" thing i've been talking about. (16)
Aug 15, 2009	...still on a high from last night's scene. my friends and my scene are the fucking best. (15)
Aug 14, 2009	great times, great friends, great FUCKING set. i love my crew.
Aug 12, 2009	... is currently fucking seething.
Aug 12, 2009	FUCK DMV.
Aug 9, 2009	...of to the Rennaissasnce Faire, with my brother in tow. We going to rip that scandalous bitch in two. (9)
Aug 8, 2009	FUCK. i can't drink this whole case by myself.
Aug 7, 2009	FUCK. i'm shot out. i need a goddamned nap. zzzZZZzzz....
Aug 6, 2009	Dear Karaoke DJ, Do you HAVE to play two shitty club songs between each request? Do you really want me to wait an hour between turns? (6)
Aug 5, 2009	gun shop quote of the day: "i'm pretty safe about it. when i'm rolling, i keep the dead whore in the trunk and the blow locked in the glove box. it'd be against the law to be able to touch either from the driver's seat."
Aug 4, 2009	... is seething. What's it take to get someone to spend 15 less minutes sitting at a coffee shop patio and answer a fucking e-mail? Show some common courtesy.
Aug 3, 2009	godDAMNit. stupid phone. you've forced me to have to buy an alarm clock. i haven't needed an alarm clock in 8 years! >:( you fucker. (3)
Jul 31, 2009	it's true, it's true. cupcakes turned his ex into a lesbian. now what the hell did her friend say about the guy in the morrissey shirt?!!?

Funny shit. Kinda sums up how my entire history on Facebook has been. Losts of outbursts.