krowface: xenomorph in full lotus position (Default)
I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me.
I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience.
krowface: xenomorph in full lotus position (Default)
"Vulnerability is a reflection of an open, authentic heart. The epitome of courage, there is nothing more intensely beautiful..My legacy won't be awards or possessions, but the memories I leave in the minds and hearts of the people I love."
krowface: xenomorph in full lotus position (Default)
"The authenticity paradox: Vulnerability is the last thing I want
you to see in me, and the first thing I look for in you."


Sep. 10th, 2012 07:14 am
krowface: (Xeno)
 "Trust 25% of what people say, and 100% of what they do."
krowface: xenomorph in full lotus position (Default)
"In the time of your life, live — so that in that good time there shall be no ugliness or death for yourself or for any life your life touches. Seek goodness everywhere, and when it is found, bring it out of its hiding-place and let it be free and unashamed. Place in matter and in flesh the least of the values, for these are things that hold death and must pass away. Discover in all things that which shines and is beyond corruption. Encourage virtue in whatever heart it may have been driven into secrecy and sorrow by the shame and terror of the world.

Ignore the obvious, for it is unworthy of the clear eye and the kindly heart.

Be the inferior of no man, nor of any man be the superior.

Remember that every man is a variation of yourself. No man's guilt is not yours, nor is any man's innocence a thing apart. Despise evil and ungodliness, but not men of ungodliness or evil. These, understand. Have no shame in being kindly and gentle, but if the time comes in the time of your life to kill, kill and have no regret. In the time of your life, live — so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but shall smile to the infinite delight and mystery of it."
krowface: xenomorph in full lotus position (Default)
Yesterday was my first orientation for enrolling. I'm about to head out for my first private one-on-one meeting with my advocate/counselor/representati... you know, I don't know what to call her*.

I am practically weeping for joy in regards to my future. This woman was once a congressman, she has worked in the Mayor's Office, and she was also once the Secretary of Education for PHL.

Knowing that I have a woman like that in my corner, I am under the honest belief that from here on in that nothing will be able to stand in my way.

Any failings from here on in are mine. And that's incredibly freeing. I am now THE person responsible for my life and my future. I am the only one responsible, and I'm the only one that gets to be the failure as well. Now I can say "nobody's fault but my own," and it feels glorious.

Anyways, here's the quote for today:

"Never confuse movement with action." - Ernest Hemingway

* I should probably find that out. I need to make sure I entitle everyone correctly in my memoirs.
krowface: xenomorph in full lotus position (Default)
Jack Torrance: Wendy, let me explain something to you. Whenever you come in here and interrupt me, you're breaking my concentration. You're distracting me. And it will then take me time to get back to where I was. You understand?

Wendy Torrance: Yeah.

Jack Torrance: Now, we're going to make a new rule. When you come in here and you hear me typing...


Jack Torrance: ...or whether you DON'T hear me typing, or whatever the FUCK you hear me doing; when I'm in here, it means that I am working, THAT means don't come in. Now, do you think you can handle that?

Wendy Torrance: Yeah.

Jack Torrance: Good. Now why don't you start right now and get the fuck out of here? Hm?
krowface: xenomorph in full lotus position (Default)
This was horrible, but not in a derogatory way.. it wasn't her fault. I used to home health care, and would be called in to do basic nursing care on patients. Many of our clients were poor, under-insured, with crappy families and couldn't get the care they needed as often as they needed it. I was sent to do a bed bath & other basic hygiene for an elderly bed-bound patient. When I arrived, the eerily silent house had a mildew, musty, rotting scent to it. It looked and felt empty. The furniture had been cleared out. The indentations still showed in the dirty carpet. There was cheap bric-a-brac, moldy papers, and detritus scattered here and there over the floor and counters. Back in the bedroom, the curtains were closed, and the smell of decay was almost overpowering. I hesitated in the doorway, and in that moment of stillness, I could hear a low, wheezing breath. I announced myself again, and went over to her, and she looked at me and smiled tentatively. It was obvious she hadn't been cared for in days, at least. The sheets were wet, the floor around the bed was wet where the sheets had fallen, her breath was rancid, and her eyes were nearly shut from the goop. And she smiled at me. I had to swallow a few times to blink the tears away, and plaster a smile on my face, and get ready to bathe her. I called adult services while the water was running in the bathroom, because I didn't want to embarrass her. I went back to her, and she asked my name. She told me hers, and asked if I had children. She was utterly and completely lucid, and kept that tentative smile on her face as she tried to overcome the awkwardness of having a stranger come in your home and see you this vulnerable. It broke my heart, but we kept up a cheerful dialogue as I removed the soaked and filthy gown. When I rolled her to her side the smell of rotting flesh was overpowering. There was a layer of feces, urine, blood and bits of the very old diaper stuck to her skin. Keeping my voice cheerful and soothing, I told her I was going to clean her back, and silent tears rolled down her cheeks. It took washcloth after washcloth to gently get the encrusted diaper to peel away from her skin. I was so afraid the skin would tear, it was so fragile. When I peeled it off, my heart sank. She had a hole at the base of her spine the size of a grapefruit. The flesh had died.. she was rotting from the inside out.. it had obviously worked through muscle and possibly into some organ tissue, I couldn't fully irrigate the wound in that environment. A pressure sore from lying on her back too long. Neglect. She kept muttering, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" as if it were her fault. Her family had come and picked through the house, taking jewelery, clothes, furniture, silverware, anything with any potential value, and left a living, breathing, person, with the garbage. That is the nastiest thing I have ever encountered - not her situation, but that there are people in this world who would do that to her.
krowface: xenomorph in full lotus position (Default)
"We support a cause that is no more radical a proposition than that the citizenry has a right to scrutinise the state. The state has asserted its authority by surveilling, monitoring and regimenting all of us, all the while hiding behind cloaks of security and opaqueness."
krowface: xenomorph in full lotus position (Default)
"We know that silence equals consent when atrocities are committed against innocent men, women and children. We know that indifference equals complicity when bigotry, hatred and intolerance are allowed to take root. And we know that education and hope are the most effective ways to combat ignorance and despair."
krowface: xenomorph in full lotus position (Default)
"Being in the middle of doing the work is usually less painful than being in the middle of procrastinating."
krowface: xenomorph in full lotus position (Default)
“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan "press on" has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race”


Dec. 9th, 2010 07:53 am
krowface: xenomorph in full lotus position (Default)
"How can the cemetry raise its burial costs and blame it on the price of living?"
krowface: xenomorph in full lotus position (Default)
‎"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful.

"When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
krowface: xenomorph in full lotus position (Default)
"Here's a way of approaching the universe: You are a tiny speck of insignificant biological material in an immense universe that probably defies your brain's ability of understanding. Yet you are remarkable, in innumerable ways. Every second of every day you are a walking ecosystem of life, housing trillions of microbes that continuously interact with you to keep both you and them alive. Your body is constantly building and rebuilding itself, encoding information on simple strains of molecules at the speed of jet engines, in each and every nucleus-possessing cell in your body. You are a walking, talking, living, breathing orchestra of life, a beautiful display of the potential inherent in our particular universe.

You are the remarkable product of an unbroken, let me say that again, UNBROKEN line of descendants stretching all the way back to the very first interactions of seemingly pointless inanimate molecules. You share a common ancestry with every living thing ever, including the estimated 106 billion humans who have ever lived. You are tied to the trees and the birds and the small phytoplankton that gently ride the crests and dips of the oceans of this world. You are part of the vibrant tapestry of what we refer to as life, a piece of art that stretches back billions upon billions of years. Everything this universe has thrown at you and your ancestors has been roundly defeated - from harsh radiation, to extraterrestrial objects, to volcanic eruptions and more. You are a symbol of utter perseverance, of the sheer will to continue onwards. You are a cry in the dark, the voice of one who will not be quiet.

So now you've realized that there is no inherent meaning to existence. So what? This doesn't mean life has suddenly lost meaning - it means there was no meaning in the first place. So you haven't actually lost anything. Instead, you have gained a wonderful opportunity. Give existence the meaning it is seeking. MAKE a purpose for yourself. Maybe it should be your kids, or maybe it should be giving from the bounty you have (because let us face reality - if you have an internet connection and personal computer, you are in the top 10%, maybe even the top 1%, of humanity). Maybe you should learn a new skill, explore a new facet of creation that you never realized was open to you.

So why do you teach a toddler how to behave? Because maybe that toddler will be the one to find other life, other existence in our so far lonely universe. Or maybe they will be the father, the mother, the close friend, the lover, the supporter of the one who does. Or maybe they will be the person to speak out at just the right moment, the one to stand up and stand out, who will provide the inspiration, or the moment of connection for the person who does. Or maybe that toddler will be the one to protect the life around us from an otherwise inevitable end, from the sucking void of empty existence that we struggle against every second of our being.
Are you just a breeder? Just biology? What an insult to biology! Just?!? I forgive you, because you know not what you say :D You are the product of a few basic particles, a few basic forces, yet you are impossibly complex, impossibly intricate. The sheer unlikeliness of your very existence is staggering, and yet here you are. The title of "breeder" is just a single facet of what you are. You can be a teacher, a leader, a thinker, a cook, a scientist, an artist, a musician, a protector, an enlightener, a champion, a peacemaker, a lover, a friend, a companion, a confidant... the list is a vast as the seemingly infinite complexities of neuron interactions in the collection of molecular structures known as cells in your brain.

And let us not end our poetic license there, for if all that is true, than this is also: There is something after death. The part of you that continues to exist in all life around you will never cease to be, not as long as things from this planet continue to live. You will continue on, interminably, from the beginning of life to its end potentially countless aeons from now, if ever. Maybe through some fluke you will be the Eve for humanity in the future, the one woman every human will trace their ancestry back to. Maybe not. But who can tell what the future holds. Rather than collapse under the imagined weight of nothingness, I posit that you should grasp hold of your life, and take it to heights heretofore unseen."
krowface: xenomorph in full lotus position (Default)
““In a perfect perfect world you could fuck people without giving them a piece of your heart. And every glittering kiss and every touch of flesh is another shard of heart you’ll never see again.

“Until walking (waking? Calling?) on your own is unsupportable.”"
krowface: xenomorph in full lotus position (Default)
"A group of any significant size needs an outside entity to hate, it's the easiest way to bring a sense of unity and cohesion to the group."
krowface: xenomorph in full lotus position (Default)
Think about this for a second. I mean really THINK about this:

1) Your employer is NOT required to give you any notice, or any severance pay. Some do provide severance, but that is purely at their discretion and often accompanied with "sign or you don't get your money" waivers of corporate liability for your termination. So if you suspect you've been fired for an illegal reason, too bad, if you want to make your rent and car payments you'd better sign on the dotted line.

2) Employers in the U.S. are not required to provide ANY paid time off. No paid sick days, no paid vacation time, no paid maternity leave, no paid federal holidays. Many employers, even most, provide one or more of these things as a courtesy, but the number of employers offering none of them is rising as the unemployment rate rises and people become willing to take any job at all, even one that views its employees as chattel who don't deserve a paid day off once in a while.

3) Do you work for a company with fewer than 15 employees? Your company is allowed (in most states) to discriminate against employees on the basis of race, sex, national origin, pregnancy, et cetera. Title VII of the civil rights act, which prohibits such discrimination, exempts private businesses with fewer than 15 employees. In other words, if you employ only 14 total people, you can simply say "only white people allowed." By the way, that 15 number doesn't include independent contractors or partners, so you can have a fairly large employer that is still allowed to discriminate as long as most of the people working there are independent contractors. What's more, no one's agitating to change this.

4) If you receive tips as part of your normal employment, your direct wage is generally $2.13 per hour. Yes, $2.13 an hour. Hope your tips are real nice.

5) Many, MANY jobs are not required to pay any overtime wage regardless of how many hours you work. This doesn't just apply to executives and managers and creative types. Projectionists, carnies, cab drivers, and a host of other occupations are also exempted and require no overtime wage whatsoever.

6) Youth under age 20 in their first 90 days of employment are allowed to make $4.25 an hour.

7) Only 21 of 50 states require ANY meal or rest break time for adult employees (including both paid and unpaid breaks). Four more require breaks for minors but not adults. There is also no federal restriction on how long employers may keep employees at work or how many hours an employer can require of an employee per week. In other words, while most employers do not do this, it is 100% legal in many states to employ someone for a 16 hour shift with no breaks allowed.

In other words: if you're not from the U.S., however bad you thought U.S. labor protections were, they're worse. If you're an American and used to employers who voluntarily provide one or more non-required things, look at the trend in employer/employee relations over the last 10 years: more independent contractors and temps, fewer full time employees with benefits. If you don't think your company will ever stop giving breaks or vacation time, just wait -- after another few years of high unemployment, non-required perquisites will dry up even worse than they already have.

The worst part of this: if this gets replies, I guarantee a number of them will be from people hastening to tell us why these policies are perfectly okay and how the right of employers to exploit workers in any way is just fine, because employees "chose" to work in such a place. We'll hear that if employers were required to provide such things, they would all go out of business and employ fewer people. Nations offering substantially more protection to employees do not seem to have these problems, but that won't stop people from making the argument (or bringing up a single example of a country with good labor laws and high unemployment as PROOF POSITIVE that such a system is non-viable).

People have become so attached to their own oppression that they view it as a badge of honor. They will show up to fight for their employers' right to exploit them. And they will convince themselves that standing up for big companies instead of individual employees is patriotic. They will ask for a little sick leave as supplicants, grateful for the crumbs cast off by an employer who views them as numbers on a ledger.

It doesn't have to be this way. Non-Americans: what are employment laws like in your country? How much of what I've posted above strikes you as downright awful?"

November 2016



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